identity

Hello friends,
It is time for another update from Hollywood. My goal is to weekly share a bit of my previous week with you. This last week was emotionally a roller coaster. I had a week coupled with making some large decisions. In the midst of this, was some quality chill time with friends (colleuages), a trip to Hanford/Fresno for a meeting, quaterly review with my agency and an amazing conversation with a good friend. I did a quick trip up to Hanford for my annual review with the Committee on Preperation for Ministry. Here, I was both challenged and encouraged to stay the course with plans for my future. This was also where I had to make a hard decision. As an inqurier in PCUSA, I must have my membership in a PCUSA church. The committee and I discussed various options, and agreed if/when Hanford leaves the PCUSA, I will be transfering my membership to my local church here in Hollywood. This decision was not made lightly. I talked many hours with a variety of people on both sides of the issue. If you are in Hanford and have no clue what I am talking about, please get in touch with me. I don't really care to share the process that I went though to arrive at that decision. If you would like to talk about it over the phone I am happy to do so. On the prior day to my meeting, I was able to spend alot of time laughing with kids, bouncing on trampolines, and playing video games. It was good to see some of you, and I am sorry I couldn't stay longer.
I am asking alot of questions about identity. Some related to how is it formed, who/what teaches us our roles, what does it mean to be a child of God, not in the corporate sense but to me personally. I am seeking healing from some of the baggage I have been carrying for many years. I am ready to lay it down, but I am also scared to do so. I see this also in so many of the youth that come into the agency I work for. They desparately want to trust us and take us at face value, but having been hurt time and again, they are scared. It is only through spending time with them, listening to them, investing in them, that they begin to let down the walls. I see the same happening in my life with people here. To some extent, I think it is normal to wear masks. But there comes a point where we must take off the masks. that is my big challenge for this year, to risk relationships with others that are real and authentic by taking off the masks.